Life’s Mountains

If anyone has been keeping track of my uploads here, I’m sure you’re wondering why I disappeared when I said I wanted to focus on my Website and Channel… Well, in short, sometimes when you think you’ve got life somewhat straightened out, it spirals out into a mess again.

After I uploaded my ‘Long Time No… Burn Out?’ post, I was confident that I would keep uploading smoothly. Unfortunately some events complicated my plans. One was losing.

All. My. Video. Files!

I was going through my computer’s files, trying to clear some space on my computer because something was using it up. My older brother was helping me at the time. Then we found the source;

my work-in-progress video files.

These were all the raw recordings of my speedpaints, and I never deleted them after I edited them together in one final video for my Channel. Without thinking, I deleted all of them.

It was only the next day I realized I didn’t spare the work-in-progress recordings for my next video! I rushed to my computer, my heart nearly beating out of my chest.

None of them were in my recycling bin.

After that discovery, I wasn’t very happy. I was angry, trying to find someone to blame. I blamed myself, I even got angry at God. But eventually I calmed down. Realizing maybe it wasn’t God’s Will for me to post the next video yet. I took a longer break, falling into deep thinking for the next couple weeks.

And at the end of it I not only changed perspective about my Channel, but my everyday life. My way of thinking, even. In my previous upload I also said this, but perhaps the change wasn’t done. Maybe it’s still not done. Nonetheless, I am certain these events are needed for me to learn. God is always teaching.

I realize that my view of life was unrealistic, and would only lead to disappointment. Like I said previously, I was ambitious and wanted to accomplish more than I could handle. I realized it at the time of ‘Long Time No… Burn Out?’, but I didn’t take full action. I prioritized rest more, that’s good, but I didn’t think about why I did work and projects. Or even how I lived my life.

Life is full of mountains. I’m sure everyone realizes it. We have to climb and struggle to the top. But I found I had an unhealthy view of the mountains I was facing. I had the idea that when I reached the top, it would be smooth from there onwards. But that’s not how mountains work. you get to the top, then you go down again. I was continually thinking, ‘if I climbed this mountain, and overcame it, I would be ‘finished’‘. I would be in the perfect place and never need to climb again.

Maybe all this ‘mountain stuff’ is a strange visual to you. It’s still new to me as well. I now know that I shouldn’t depend on getting to the top, because that’s not life. I’ve been going through my difficult seasons, thinking that when I conquer this, I’ll never have to face it again and I’ll ‘finally’ be able to live life. But I was already living it. It might seem like I’m saying life is just difficulties and no victories. But I’m saying the opposite. Life is difficulties and victories. It’s the climb. Of course when you get to the top it’s wonderful, and you have a magical view before you. But if you haven’t lived through the climb, the view would be less sweet. When you get to the top, you remember the climb, perhaps not every step, but you remember the battles and victories. And when you look down, you see how far you’ve come. There cannot be a victory without a battle.

So I’ve decided that I’ll stop living just to get to the top, but I’ll live for the climb, and to see how far I’ve come when I get there. And then start again. And the best part in the climb for me, is God. He is right there beside me. Always between me and the edge, sometimes even carrying me. He’ll always be teaching me how to climb. I gain more from climbing the mountain than standing at the top, and it’s at the top I get to see how much I’ve gained, when during the climb I struggled to see it. Both the climb, and the top is important.

Remember when I said if I conquered the mountain, I’d finally be able to live life?

Subconsciously I also imagined God at the top, waiting for me. But now I see that God is not up there waiting for me, He’s beside me as I climb. It’s a lesson I thought I already learned, and I got frustrated when I realized I’ve climbed the same mountain. But each time I climb this mountain I know it better.

Oh dear, I see I’ve rambled for a while about this visual. Maybe it’s confusing to you, but maybe it’s a comfort to read this. Because in the end, even though it’s hard, and I’m sure none of us actually like it, we can find comfort in knowing we gain from these mountains.

And I get to tell my mountain about my God.

Thank you for taking time to read this upload, I hope you are doing well, and will enjoy the rest of your day!

If you enjoyed reading this post, please share it! I’ll appreciate it a lot, and perhaps you have a friend or family member that just needs to be reminded every mountain has both difficulties and victories during the climb. Not just difficulties.
And if you’d like to see more of what I do, check out my YouTube Channel, xXWinterCookie StudiosXx!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWdH360vDpwUxzfgR8YbRYw

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